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Only a Dweeb Would Go Out for Dinner This Valentine's Day

We are 10 days away from Valentine’s Day, which is right around the time unimaginative straight men normally take to OpenTable in an attempt to secure a reservation at a “special” restaurant for a “special” evening. This year, we all have a built-in excuse for skipping this entire ordeal, but something (social media) tells me that some people are still planning on dining out. Do not do this. Only